Thank Your Caretaker Day
thank you poster
This month is National Caregiver Month; November 13th, thank your supporters, family, nurses, and full-time caregiver.
When we are so focused on survival, pain and illness, we can feel as though we are going this journey alone. But illness always touches those who love us. They are strong for us and wouldn’t want us to know how they are effected by our pain, but it hurts them to see us suffering. Many carers and family members say that they would take on the pain of their loved one if they could. We of course would never want that.
In collecting stories, I tried to get contributions from caregivers; however, none volunteered. When I brought this up to my husband, my own full time carer, he said he understood why:
Him: “No offense, but I wouldn’t want you knowing how all of this has effected me. That’s probably why no one wants to share.”
Me: “You think they would be afraid it would hurt their sick loved one?”
Him: “Some things we have to keep to ourselves. It’s just better for everyone that way.”
Me: “I guess it’s the same reason I haven’t invited you or my family to subscribe to my blog. It’s not that I’m saying hurtful things about you. But I don’t want you knowing more about my pain after seeing it every day.”
So that’s as close as I got to a caregiver contribution. They are in the trenches with us. If we are warriors, then so are they. If our lives have changed without choice, then theirs have as well. The difference is that they can leave and we cannot. But if you still have people around, they have chosen not to leave, they continue to love you through all of this craziness with your health… then tomorrow, November 13th, please join me in saying “thank you!”
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In comments, please let me know how you said thank you to your caregiver and supporters. Post any special message about your caregiver for the world to see. We would love to hear it!
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Posted on November 12, 2014, in Caretaker and tagged cancer, Caregiver, Caregiver Appreciation Day, Caregiver Appreciation Day 2014, Chronic Illness, disabled, National Caregiver Month, Spoonie, Thank Your Caregiver Day, Thank your Caregiver November 13th. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
aBodyofHope 
I love the way you always portray your relationship with your husband, your mutual respect and love for each other is so apparent. It might sound kind of weird, but good relationship role models in the midst of chronic illness are hard to find, and I’m so happy to read that your love is such a light for you. I especially am touched by your honesty in regards to each other’s feelings. Without needing to share the painful parts out loud, there was still an understanding beneath your conversation that is very powerful. It is so easy to forget to appreciate each other verbally in the chaos of chronic illness. Too easy. Thank for sharing your conversation here, I needed to see love in action today.
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That’s SO SWEET Jesse!
I didn’t add this part, but I will here: after that, we held hands for a while saying “I love you” back and forth. 🙂 ❤
Sometimes it feels impossible; and I cannot even imagine what it's been like for him. Wish I could throw him a parade tomorrow
Thank you for being supportive and mirroring back to me what I didn't see in the post to begin with. I really appreciate that- and you 🙂
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You’re the sweet one! I’m glad I have an example to follow in the two of you. ❤
That's the most adorable, stinkin' cute little lovefest ever. And makes the whole conversation you had that much more meaningful. And if you think about it, you kind of did throw him a parade, on here. 🙂
I'm sorry for the way chronic illness robs my boyfriend of his life as well as mine, and is aging us both, not just me. I am sorry for the extra stress he is under because I cannot work anymore. I am sorry that I can't pick up the slack on all the days he is in pain, no matter how much I want to. But on the other hand, how do you know love means this much if it is never tested?
In the long run, being together, even in the most rotten times, has magically enabled me to continue to live a somewhat regular life, albeit that of a shut in housewife. Even though we have many things to work on in our relationship, I am always grateful for his help and his spirit, always respectful of his input, and always aware of the future I desire for us together (and striving for that). Chronic illness has been a trial on this relationship for sure, but I still see all the support more than all the negativity, and I still love him so damn much. Hopefully he and I get through this transition period together, because I can't imagine my future without seeing him in it. Ugh, I'm sorry, usually I don't talk about this at all, but your concern over what your husband has sacrificed sparked something.
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I’m sorry to hear both of you are disabled. That must be quite a challenge. My husband also has chronic pain, and is also my caretaker, but both of you being home must be really intense. I hope you find your groove in it and make a way through it. It’s one thing to talk about our own personal struggles, but I do understand how writing about the trials in your most precious relationship is so much more difficult. ❤
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Your husband sounds a very lovely and wise person. I’m so glad that you’ve got someone very special by your side. I also have a brill husband who endlessly supports me, listens to me and helps me deal with my illness. I think I would be insane if it wasn’t for his calm and steady influence. He’s always reading up on my illness and keeps up to date on the research articles that my foggy brain can’t digest. He’s a star and I’m so grateful for him for all that he is and all he has had to cope with and sacrifice because of my health.
Thank you for the opportunity to celebrate these amazing people who are our rocks.
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Lisa, it sounds like you and your man have a very sweet nurturing relationship going. When they are there for us in a non-judging manner, that means SO MUCH! Having a safe place in a spouse or partner is everything…chronic illness or not.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing about your very special man. As hard as marriage and chronic illness is, it is such a blessing to go it with a tender soul ❤
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