When you say I do…

My husband has been my caretaker for the past (almost) 4 years since I have been bed bound. Before that, I was chronically ill for 7 years prior and used walking aids yet remained mostly independent and continued working, though life for both of us was constantly changing. Through 10& 1/2 years, illness builds walls that we continue to find ways to scale, breech, knock down, or peer through at one another despite the seemingly impossible circumstances.
Even though I often choose to discuss and focus on the things about my relationship I am most grateful for, there are multiple hardships being in a patient/caregiver scenario that are very personal between us.
If you are in a relationship and one or both of you has a chronic illness (like my husband and I), I encourage you to read this wonderful article from The Unbroken Smile’s blog discussing marriage and chronic illness.

The unbroken smile

With my 12 year Anniversary fast approaching I started wondering how others react when their loved one becomes chronically ill. Do they stay by their side knowing it will not be easy? Or do they leave because this is not what they “signed up for”? It just makes me think of our wedding vows “I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part”. Sure we get up in front of our family and friends and recite this and celebrate the love we have for each other, but do we ever stop and truly think about what this may mean? Most don’t until we are faced with this, “in sickness and health” we do…

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About abodyofhope

I do not know why it is that we must wade through tragic circumstances to find truth. We nearly drown! But under the water, there are pearls. I hope in writing this blog, more will come to the surface. Over the past 15 years living with chronic pain, patient advocacy has had a powerful effect on my life through meeting so many remarkable teens, women and men: SURVIVORS. These individuals are HOPE personified. I wish to honor them in the same spirit they have encouraged me to press on. Eight years ago, I became bed-bound from a variety of secondary chronic illnesses. A procedure meant to help the pain condition I had been managing for several years- went bust #BIGTIME. Over the years, my entire life has changed. I have changed, but I am still striving to live my best life possible. Along with sharing inspiring pieces about spiritual wellness and finding quality of life inside of ongoing illness, I also share health research, awareness information, poetry, memes, art, and this blog is also an attempt to put my own pieces back together. Welcome to A Body of Hope, and thank you for visiting. [Complex Regional Pain Syndrome/ RSD, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Dysautonomia, Chronic Intractable Migraine, Cluster headache, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Occipital Neuralgia, Hypersensitivity to Sound & Light, Fibro, CFS/ME, Cerebrospinal Fluid Imbalance......blah, blah, blah] >>> P.S. My headgear is protective for pain. I just rock it hard ;)

Posted on March 26, 2015, in Caretaker, Marriage, Reblogs and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Thank you for reblogging my article. I wish you and your husband nothing but the best. Keep your head up. With love, The Unbroken Smile 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny, I had just posted something about dating and chronic illness, and the same scenario as you, where both of us are effected by chronic pain, not just me. We are always on the same page, you and I.
    Just admitting that there are struggles much too personal to put online is huge, I think people can all-to-easily forget that you have CHOSEN to focus on positives in your life despite illness. A good distinction to make and reminder to throw out there to all your readers that life is not as simple as it looks in a blog post.
    ❤ you for all your bravery and fearless ability to bring others into a space of understanding no matter what their own experiences are. And I am so, so, so grateful that you love a man who knows the meaning of the vows that he took, and who takes the time to also work to scale those walls that chronic illness erects.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you also for writing the wonderful article you did on FindingoutFibro! I went right over and read it. So true, we are so often on the same page 🙂
      I agree that not enough people write about the daily, intimate struggles in a relationship, much less those that transpire between individuals facing chronic illness.
      Love and relationships are never black and white, and just like in social networking, as bloggers, we often share the highlight reel of our lives when so much more lies beneath the surface. I find this now being bed bound, there is a line I don’t want to cross that is overly personal.

      I think you walk that line perfectly. You are always so courageous, sharing the difficult parts of your life and relationship. I know you remind myself and others we are less alone, and we can see into your story like a mirror, helping relationships grow through your candid writing.
      I’m beyond grateful for my guy. He is my treasure. I’m so thankful you have so much love in your life every day, and a man who knows that love is an action and not just a feeling.
      Thank you for your lovely message, sweetie. xoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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