Down but not out
No one but my husband and parents know how sick I really am. I’m grateful to be able to see, to type this today, and to have family members to lean on. If I didn’t have people to care for my needs, I know I would be in a nursing facility. There are worse things than that, but I’d still like to be able to share about the harder times without my positivity being called into question by “friends.” No, I’m not feeling particularly positive lately, and I’m not going to beat myself up about it. There is enough shame that comes with illness and giving myself a guilt trip will only make me worse. We all go through phases with long-term illness; even the most positive upbeat people get beaten down sometimes. If you have read my blog, you know I try to impart hope and raise others’ spirits. The last couple posts have been a little different for a reason. For right now, I’m trying to raise my own spirits. If you are also feeling this way, it will get better. You will feel stronger. You are doing the best you can and what you are feeling right now is ok.
Peace and love.