Renewal: morning prayers


Every day I wake up with intrusive
thoughts. Almost as if they begin before I wake up. My brain wraps around them, like that terrible song you can’t stop singing. For the first few moments I wake up, I’m flooded with only pain and panic.

And every morning, I begin the day with prayers of thanksgiving. It’s my morning routine. On my way to the restroom, I begin.

As I pull my shrieking body out of bed and toward my walker, I’m not thankful. I don’t feel gratitude, I feel pain and contempt that my body forces me ten miles to the restroom every morning.

But, the act of gratitude requires nothing but the act itself.

Perfect, because I have nothing else to give. And with no flowery words, no fuzzy feeling, no memorized verse, I give my scrambled offering to my Maker.

From my always darkened apartment, a Sun rises…in me. Every morning.

The Sunlight melts away those frigid intrusions. Soft light falls onto new gratitude where only a moment ago, I could find nothing worthy of speaking thanks over.

From then, everything I do, from brushing my teeth, to eating my food, to taking my medications is an act of worship.

There is no small act of service. No offering too small.

Every gift wrapped with thanks to God that I’m physically able to do each task, that I have medication to take where in other areas of the world I would not, that I have food to eat, and ability to digest it.

All of this has been provided to me by His hand. I’m feeling the fullness of gratitude now, the peace, and mercy that I only begin to understand.

About abodyofhope

I do not know why it is that we must wade through tragic circumstances to find truth. We nearly drown! But under the water, there are pearls. I hope in writing this blog, more will come to the surface. Over the past 15 years living with chronic pain, patient advocacy has had a powerful effect on my life through meeting so many remarkable teens, women and men: SURVIVORS. These individuals are HOPE personified. I wish to honor them in the same spirit they have encouraged me to press on. Eight years ago, I became bed-bound from a variety of secondary chronic illnesses. A procedure meant to help the pain condition I had been managing for several years- went bust #BIGTIME. Over the years, my entire life has changed. I have changed, but I am still striving to live my best life possible. Along with sharing inspiring pieces about spiritual wellness and finding quality of life inside of ongoing illness, I also share health research, awareness information, poetry, memes, art, and this blog is also an attempt to put my own pieces back together. Welcome to A Body of Hope, and thank you for visiting. [Complex Regional Pain Syndrome/ RSD, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Dysautonomia, Chronic Intractable Migraine, Cluster headache, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Occipital Neuralgia, Hypersensitivity to Sound & Light, Fibro, CFS/ME, Cerebrospinal Fluid Imbalance......blah, blah, blah] >>> P.S. My headgear is protective for pain. I just rock it hard ;)

Posted on March 1, 2021, in Poetry, Spiritual Journey. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You have no idea how badly I needed this TODAY. My body pulls me out of bed at 3:30…4:30 am if I’m lucky. I did not feel gratitude today but your post gave me a new perspective. Thank God his mercies are new every morning. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amen, thank you for this precious scripture reminder. And they are New indeed. I love learning what new hope He’ll bring me.
      I’m praying for you now, Linda ❤🌷 I’m so sorry the nights have been torturing you.


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