Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?
Facebook asks me to take these ridiculous quizzes. Am I a pair of stilettos or a unicorn? You know the ones; they are meant to be fun… Like personality quizzes a Psychology dropout on pot (lots) would have put together.
I can say that I like potato chips more than honey, but am I answering the question this way because I now have low blood pressure and crave salty food all the time?
On a lazy afternoon would you go hiking, hang with your friends, or lie around and do nothing? Well, now that I’m sequestered to bed in a dark quiet room on account of my “hot messness,” (intractable chronic migraine & csf imbalance) how am I meant to answer?
I think of the many lives I have had and I am grateful for each one. Because I’m a woman, I know that every woman reading this has multiple lives. Many great-balancing women juggle all of their lives at once, but my lives are like a cat’s. Each one is unique and wild with stripes and spots. While each life ends and another begins, my soul remains constant. Once I could tell the pothead quizmaster exactly which kind of fabulous shoe I prefer without my chronic pain condition in my leg confusing my answer (fyi: wooden strappy wedge).
Do I answer a personality quiz without taking my ailments into consideration? But those things are just what I do, they are not who I am. I am not my illness and my illness is not supposed to define me– yet it’s really good at influencing just about every part of my life now. What about becoming a mom and how much a woman’s life changes when she has a baby? You are still you, but everything else in your life is now changed forever. And the truth is, my personality HAS changed in some ways because of these hardships…how could I not grow or evolve?
I’m still the person I was. I still love all of the things I can’t do anymore: the hiking, the kayaking, wearing fabulous high heels (probably not simultaneously)…I don’t pine away 24/7, but when I’m faced with the specific question: Who are you? I do feel fractured.
Oh well… I’m fractured, I suppose. Oh, and I’m also a Dragon, apparently (thanks quizman). I wanted to be Fairy. Well, maybe in another life (wink).
This was a piece I contributed to Project Naked. This is a great program/blog in which women from all backgrounds, ages and walks of life share stories about their bodies. All women are invited to contribute. They are very hopeful to hear more from those with ongoing health concerns as the relationship with our bodies is so unique. Follow this link to read my Poem “This Body” and other women’s powerful works.
Here you can learn more about submitting one of your own pieces to: ProjectNaked.